It started with guilt.
My husband and I were wrapping up our meeting with a young couple, all beaming smiles and big wedding expectations. We’d charmed them with the Steph and Jeff Show, as usual. They’d entered our home as nervous soon-to-be-weds, and were leaving as friends.
“It’s so cool that you get to do what you love,” the bride-to-be sighed. “And you get to do it together.”
I nodded my head with vigor and forced a smile as we walked them to the door. Something inside me felt flattened. Like dead squirrel on the side of the road flattened.
I do love what I do. Don’t I?
Something inside me wasn’t convinced.
We’d go to these industry conventions where DJs were just on fire with passion for what they do. Wedding industry conferences where planners were just over the moon to live, breathe and sleep weddings.
I felt guilty.
Here I was making a damn good living as a wedding professional. But I was a fake.
Sure, I loved our couples. I spent hours prepping for the wedding day, going over song lists, scheming creative ways to fit in their favorite songs, planning ways to delight them with the unexpected, just like any good wedding pro.
But the things I loved most about what I did had nothing to do with weddings.
Or even with being a DJ. I just couldn’t find my passion in those things.
I loved the process of sitting down with a couple and learning about their dreams. I lived for the moments when I could facilitate moments of connection between the couple and their guests, like I was a living conduit of their love, when I was reading the love letters they’d written to each other or orchestrating a well-planned montage or performance.
But I just couldn’t get excited about designer gowns or perfectly matched table linens or the details on the wedding invitations. And I couldn’t muster up enthusiasm over beat mixing or uplighting or the latest gobos.
Our couples deserved to work with someone who was as in love with weddings as they were with their own.
I was an imposter.
I’ve wanted to share this for a long time, but I was afraid you would think less of me, and maybe you will. I’ve heard the accusations before, “If you were so successful in the wedding business, why aren’t you still doing it? Huh?”
There was something inside me still yearning to be expressed.
Being a wedding DJ didn’t let me use some of my greatest talents to their fullest: teaching, writing, coaching. I love nothing more than learning something new and teaching it to someone else.
There wasn’t much call for that at a wedding, other than the Cupid Shuffle.
When something doesn’t feel right, sometimes it’s okay to quit; letting go of one thing makes room for something else.
So I did it. I QUIT.
I let the things I love pull me into a whole new direction, which turned into Book More Brides. I get to learn and teach and grow with people like you. And I get to explore current and future passions that will pull me in entirely new directions.
Don’t just do something because you’re supposed to. Do it because you want to.
And if you don’t want to do that–do something else.
The world wants you to blossom into the fullness of your joy and unbridled enthusiasm. “Unbridled,” as in a wild horse running free and unrestrained. Passionate. Creative. Abundant.
I deserve that, and so do you.
It’s okay to let go of what’s not working for you. In fact, you must, if you want to make room for the glorious potential of you.
Have you ever quit something? Tell me about it.