bride with white bouquet

I’ve been in the wedding business a while…over 12 years, in fact…and in the process I’ve crossed paths with more than a few brides.  There are a few misconceptions about them that I simply must expose.  *deep breath*  

WARNING:  Prepare yourself for a healthy dose of sarcasm.  All those lacking a sense of humor, turn back now.

1.  Brides don’t know anything about planning a wedding.

Of course, they do!  They know what their Knottie friends have told them.  They know what the media says about wedding rip offs.  They know exactly what to expect from watching wedding reality TV.

Shame on you for thinking they don’t know anything!  For shame.

2.  Every bride wants to be a princess in a fairytale on her wedding day.

Speaking as a tomboy who absolutely refused to wear a dress until the age of 10, and who only grew her hair long because she got tired of the question, “Are you a boy or a girl?” I can assure you that all brides do NOT want to be a princess.

In fact, I bet if we took a survey at least 75% of brides get nauseous at the thought of a Cinderella ball gown and a tiara.  You might remember that the next time you want to sprinkle fairy dust all over her day.

3.  The bride has been imagining her wedding since she was a little girl.

Maybe I’m handing in all my chick cards here, but that was definitely NOT the case for me.  Sure, I played house and restaurant and doctor (woah! don’t go there) like other little girls, but playing at my dream wedding was never part of the picture.

When little girls grow up and get engaged, they are just as likely to be shell shocked at the mere thought of having to plan a wedding as they are to be sticker shocked by the price tag attached to their fantasy.

4.  All brides are female.

This is definitely not true.  The groom can also be, “the bride,” and this isn’t exclusive to same sex weddings, either.

You know who I’m talking about.  He emails you 15 times a day about the most minute details of the wedding, shows up with his own wedding planning binder, and on the wedding day, he wears makeup.

Be sensitive to the fact that the bride you’re working with might not be who you think.

5.  Brides are obsessed with all the little details and hundreds of choices involved in planning the wedding.

While it may be true that many brides adore the browsing, shopping and dreaming that comes with planning a wedding, they are just as overwhelmed and stalled by CHOICE as the rest of us humans.  When it’s too difficult to decide, they opt not to decide.

How many brides have exclaimed to me six months before the wedding, “Why can’t I just show up?”

Brides love the idea of choice, but give them too many pretty things to choose between, and they will choose nothing.

6.  Brides want their wedding to be unique and different.

Ask a bride what her dream wedding will be like and 9 times out of 10 she’ll say, “Simple, elegant and unique.  Something that’s really US.”

And yet…well, you’ve been to a wedding or two.  They wear a white dress (strapless, no doubt!), walk down an aisle, share a first dance to a (corny, predictable) love song and dab cute dollops of icing on the groom’s nose.  When they want to do something “different” they imitate last year’s trend-setting weddings on Style Me Pretty.

Yep, they’re original, all right.

Every bride wants to FEEL unique and special on her wedding day, but her choices are more likely to follow the herd.

7.  All brides care about is price.

The first thing she asks, whether in an email or on the phone, “How much do you cost?”

Ah, ha!  With so many more important factors to consider, that’s what she asks.  Therefore all she must care about is price.

Not so, weedhopper.  Not so.

In surveys conducted by the Wedding Report, when asked if price was the deciding factor when hiring a wedding vendor, 80% of brides said NO.

Shock and dismay!  If price isn’t the most important, what is?

She wants to make sure she’s getting quality first.  Then price becomes a factor.

What do you think is the biggest misconception about brides?

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Stephanie Padovani

Stephanie is a Hudson Valley wedding insider, blogger, writer, and wedding business coach. Want to book more weddings at higher prices? Quit dealing with price shoppers? Transform your wedding business so that it supports the life you really want? Look her up! They don't call her the Wedding Business Cheerleader for nothing. :)

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7 thoughts on “7 BS Facts About Brides Everyone Thinks Are True”

  1. Let me just comment on this rather lively argument (which I enjoy) about whether or not price is the #1 factor.
    For most brides, it is NOT the main concern. Here’s why I say this.
    Let’s say I make an offer to a bride who is “on a budget.” I tell her that I have a photographer who will shoot her wedding for $500. She’s thrilled!
    Then I continue, “I can’t guarantee that she’ll show up on time. Her work really isn’t that great, and her couples don’t usually get their albums for at least a year. But she’s only $500.”
    Suddenly that excited bride is no longer interested. Why? Because there is something more important to her than price.
    That’s my point.

  2. Pam says:

    I just had an appointment yesterday with a potential bride. While price is a consideration for her, I think she appreciated my honesty as I looked at her schedule and then filled in the blanks for the needs for shooting.

    She had gotten two other quotes before seeing me. She gave me her maximum budgeted amount for a photographer and I refused to take it to the top line. Instead, I helped her to see where she could cut corners and get a better price. I’m not trying to undercut anybody, but I am trying to build a relationship based on my honesty and integrity, as well as my photo expertise.

    I laid her fears to rest by answering her questions and letting her know what could easily and probably be padded by other photography companies. (I say “companies” because it is hard for me fathom that an independent photographer would approach the assignment with dollar signs in their eyes.)

    I am in the business of preserving memories of a once-in-a-lifetime event and I’m not going to gouge anyone just because their event contains the “W” word.

  3. Konstantina says:

    I like your tips Stephanie I read them very often. What I like most is your writting style.. funny, pleasant and true.
    I have to agree with the most vendors here that the biggest concern of the brides is the cost. Quality too but quality usually costs. Educating brides Jeff, it is not easy all the times especially if you do not have the chance to meet the bride in person.

  4. 6.9 out of the 7 points are spot on. It’s the Quality they do not want to sacrifice as you say, But the quality they can afford, by necessity, is dictated by their budget. And as stated above, They really don’t want to say that they are fast running out of money. Who really want to say they have Champagne tastes on a beer budget and say it seriously. Luckily in Australia The only thing you actually need to get married… The Celebrant, tends to be the Cheapest Service related to their wedding, but they still want and try to bargain hunt, so they can have more to spend on the Photos, Cake, Catering etc. The real problem here is a huge over supply of Celebrants across the country which creates a lot of discounting and a vicious cycle ensues.

  5. I pretty much have to agree that price IS the bride’s main consideration. I’ve had many many brides email me that they looked at my website, love my work, want to have me be their photographer, and “what is the price”? So we either meet (if local), or I send them a link to my flip book price list (if they’re out of town). Then I don’t hear from them, so I email “hey just checking on your wedding planning”. Either I never hear back, or most of the time they say “A friend of ours offered to do the photography”. I am not high priced – I am either lower than or on par with other pro photographers in town.

  6. While I agree with most of your observations, I have to disagree about the one on price. They DO care about price, more now than ever! They want a bargain, but they DON”T want to sacrifice that “quality” you speak of. Most brides think that they can get a platinum wedding at a discount and that wedding professionals do what they do for a hobby. You get what you pay for and weddings are expensive!!! Even with a great budget and a savvy planner, some things come at a price. Sadly, most brides listen to other brides and they think that “reality” TV is just that, reality! Of course, it is not. So, how do you propose we educate them on the truth?!

    1. “They want a bargain, but they DON”T want to sacrifice that “quality” you speak of” Very true Wendy. Many vendors assume that “all brides care about is price” and this belief has a profound effect on how the interaction goes between them and a possible customer. They do care about price but that’s certainly not the only thing that’s going to make the sale. Educating a bride is certainly key, the trick is not sounding defensive or lecture-y which can be tough sometimes.

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